How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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