Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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