remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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