hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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