So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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