can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
