On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
