i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
