She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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