the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
