so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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