From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize