shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
