summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
