Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We talked him into tasing himself.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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