We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
