And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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