my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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