How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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