dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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