I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Even my vagina gasped.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
