Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have post one night stand depression
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
