Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
