Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah i got into a fight with my man last night

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  why can't men just shut up and put out?

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  (860): he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep (860): yeah i got into a fight with my man last night (860): why can't men just shut up and put out? http://tfl.nu/05si
  Replies (60) Good night (2410) Bad night (1972)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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  (215): i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are. http://tfl.nu/vh2p
  Replies (85) Good night (1199) Bad night (6510)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.

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  (614): If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold. http://tfl.nu/55cb
  Replies (14) Good night (5960) Bad night (914)
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  (315): View more from New York

  in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

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  (315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3996) Bad night (717)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive

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  (970): just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive http://tfl.nu/n5td
  Replies (24) Good night (5181) Bad night (986)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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  (516): i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs http://tfl.nu/7d0f
  Replies (6) Good night (2607) Bad night (1068)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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  (+44): i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit. http://tfl.nu/4l0m
  Replies (5) Good night (2034) Bad night (939)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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  (216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2085) Bad night (835)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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  (319): Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours. http://tfl.nu/m0o9
  Replies (19) Good night (3776) Bad night (790)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.

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  (941): It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere. (1-941): Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4qq
  Replies (13) Good night (3332) Bad night (807)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.

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  (720): my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am. http://tfl.nu/xw8k
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (543)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you

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  (812): I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you http://tfl.nu/vw2w
  Replies (15) Good night (1938) Bad night (650)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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  (231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89
  Replies (11) Good night (2349) Bad night (542)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.

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  (919): Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ea08
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (513)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2523) Bad night (471)

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