Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"

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  (503): I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it" http://tfl.nu/ynj0
  Replies (13) Good night (3324) Bad night (825)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

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  (856): It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle. http://tfl.nu/cqa0
  Replies (4) Good night (1514) Bad night (3196)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.

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  (215): I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume. http://tfl.nu/pw0v
  Replies (19) Good night (1519) Bad night (4044)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.

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  (503): Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college. http://tfl.nu/hzqm
  Replies (14) Good night (5278) Bad night (1168)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's gonna be a great weekend

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  (203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok
  Replies (13) Good night (6417) Bad night (1114)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.

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  (+61): Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other. http://tfl.nu/nigv
  Replies (29) Good night (7019) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

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  (262): just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving http://tfl.nu/vnp1
  Replies (21) Good night (5694) Bad night (979)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.

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  (616): No flamethrowers. That is a direct order. http://tfl.nu/o0tj
  Replies (7) Good night (3355) Bad night (994)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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  (402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7
  Replies (9) Good night (4419) Bad night (932)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

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  (484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (681)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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  (815): Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess. http://tfl.nu/3e7p
  Replies (13) Good night (2457) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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  (416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb
  Replies (8) Good night (2216) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  they paper machayed me.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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  (484): they paper machayed me. (215): i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers. http://tfl.nu/kseh
  Replies (5) Good night (3435) Bad night (672)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore. 

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  (318): Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.  http://tfl.nu/j2xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.

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  (732): He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string. http://tfl.nu/q1va
  Replies (9) Good night (546) Bad night (828)

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