Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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  (347): Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck????? http://tfl.nu/jm2n
  Replies (8) Good night (1107) Bad night (4792)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

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  (978): The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room. http://tfl.nu/rw2d
  Replies (58) Good night (2003) Bad night (5657)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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  (513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42
  Replies (25) Good night (1101) Bad night (4574)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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  (941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564
  Replies (11) Good night (1088) Bad night (4309)
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  (650): View more from California

  I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.

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  (650): I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered. http://tfl.nu/k2a9
  Replies (11) Good night (4432) Bad night (998)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

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  (717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970
  Replies (7) Good night (4202) Bad night (856)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4593) Bad night (926)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

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  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1876) Bad night (799)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

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  (908): No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability. http://tfl.nu/nqzp
  Replies (20) Good night (782) Bad night (3095)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.

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  (775): you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is. http://tfl.nu/hp0z
  Replies (6) Good night (1394) Bad night (633)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.

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  (937): If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true. http://tfl.nu/q4xc
  Replies (12) Good night (764) Bad night (1118)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1443) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  omg i wish you could see the front of my car.

  (909): View more from California

  There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.

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  (909): omg i wish you could see the front of my car. (909): There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood. http://tfl.nu/64tw
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (341)
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  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (366) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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  (773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (410)

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