ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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