You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.