Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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