you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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