none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.