every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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