I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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