I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
