We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's never too late to be topless.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
