We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
