you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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