brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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