just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
