I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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