need another drink. this is the easiest way
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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