How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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