you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
