No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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