Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
