how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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