im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
