I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
