youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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