What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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