i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Girls should come with a carfax report
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
