I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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