can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
