how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
