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• (858): View more from California

  we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.

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• (559): View more from California

  he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.

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• (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

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• (940): View more from Texas

  now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place

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• (936): View more from Texas

  the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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• (951): View more from California

  I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.

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