I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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