shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey