Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.