Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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