I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
