is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
