So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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