Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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