Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
being pregnant is like rehab
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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