one might say we're banned from that church
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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