Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
