I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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