recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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