I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize