Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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