You can't special order awesome
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
