don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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